Let’s Get Saucy

Yesterday was the worst day of my life* and I have no-one to blame but myself. There I was, dishing up the chippy tea, when I looked in the fridge, then the cupboard and realised, all too late, that I had no tomato sauce. Had I realised before sending out my man-servant to procure said chippy tea, I could have averted my trauma with the addition of an order of curry sauce or even a cheap bottle of sauce from the chip shop itself. But no, I was too preoccupied with the ongoing mystery of my haunted washing machine to remember if I had enough ketchup. More fool me. I tried to make do with some mayonnaise but, to be honest, it just rubbed salt (and vinegar?!) into the wound.

In years past I had tomato sauce on everything – sandwiches, rice cakes, roast dinners or just as the main meal itself, the food I dunked into it being a mere by-product, a means with which to get the lovely red stuff into my mouth. Nowadays I’m a bit more restrained, I can take it or leave it (though I’d rather take it). It is, however, an ESSENTIAL component for two ‘meals’, those being bacon/black pudding sandwiches and chippy teas. Oh, and with broccoli, broccoli tastes wrong without tommy sauce. Very few things put me off food or ruin meals but a distinct lack of tomato sauce can be one of them.

I am definitely not addicted though, I know because 1) I’m not and 2) I know someone who is far more dependent on the ruby elixir. I have a friend, who shall remain nameless, who loves her tomato sauce SO much, that, when, as an adult, she lived with her brother (another fellow addict), they basically had a bottle (by which I mean those MASSIVE catering size ones) in every room of the house. When we went to the pub for lunch one day and they had run out of ketchup, she promptly walked out of the pub………… across the road, to the corner shop and bought a bottle, which, having liberally slathered on her pie (*snigger*) she passed round the rest of the diners in the pub. And she’s got a t-shirt that says ‘I Put Ketchup On My Ketchup!’. I’m tempted to buy her this .

Do you have a strong attachment to a particular condiment. Is it just tomato sauce that inspires such devotion?

*not actually the worst day of my life. That was the day I smashed a full bottle of wine on the kitchen floor.


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